People of all genders experience pleasure in different intensities, and your partner might be on the lower end of the spectrum. I can’t know what’s going on with your boyfriend with any certainty, but here are some possibilities around why your boyfriend isn’t finishing, and some tips on starting the conversation. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but you’re already feeling uncomfortable!īefore approaching him, it might help to have a sense of some of why men can’t cum sometimes, and why delayed orgasm typically occurs. The only way you’re going to better understand what’s going on is by hearing from him about his past experiences.
Lifelong means someone who’s always dealt with it, acquired means someone who used to be able to come and now can’t, generalized means someone who always struggles to come, and situational means someone who can only come in specific situations - in a certain position, with a certain partner, etc. According to Mayo Clinic, delayed ejaculation manifests in a couple of different ways: Lifelong, acquired, generalized, and situational. It probably won’t surprise you that my number one piece of advice is to talk to him about it. It’s an issue that doesn’t get a lot of press, but it’s far more widespread than most people think. Why can’t my boyfriend come sometimes? And how do I bring it up gently?Ī: Thank you for being brave and submitting your question! What you’re describing sounds like a delayed orgasm or impaired ejaculation. Sometimes I can tell that he’s trying to fake an orgasm, which makes me feel even worse. I’ve never been with a guy who couldn’t come. I can’t help but feel like I must be doing something wrong. He’ll just go limp at some point and will awkwardly pull out. At first, I thought he was just trying to last longer to impress me, but we’ve been together six months and I think he’s orgasmed maybe three times? We have never talked about it either. My problem is that my boyfriend can’t come during sex.
Q: I’ve never seen this issue addressed before, so I’m a little embarrassed to be asking.
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Today’s week’s topic: why men can't come sometimes - and how to talk about it. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship.